So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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