the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
