He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
