New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
