I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
