is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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