Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
