Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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