What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i drank out of a bidet.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
