HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
