Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My ass is underappreciated
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
