Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
