he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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