she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
