I wanna bring you to show and tell
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
