butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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