I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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