is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize