I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We need a shit load of segways right now
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
