Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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