My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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