When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
