SEEEEXXX PLEASE
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
