I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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