Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
