Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize