I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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