Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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