Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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