At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize