I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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