When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
