people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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