There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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