I'm drive I can fine osifer
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
