After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize