What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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