So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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