I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
