Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
smell my finger.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
