Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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