and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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