I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
