she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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