You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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