when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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