she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
