If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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