Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
