K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize