your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
