It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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