I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
the day after is always just damage control
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
