i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
