Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
