I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
