I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
