she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize