i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
