Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
