I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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