and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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