stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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