forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
ugly people sure do ruin things
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just high enough for therapy.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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