Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
