She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
