just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize