I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
