He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
