So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize