her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize