You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
