I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He better not be in your backpack
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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