It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
